Well most families start the new year off with a bang and positive attitudes. Then there is me, I'm fat and swollen and beyond moody. And that's me trying to be positive. Getting up to pee every 20 minutes through the night, and wow its a scary scene watching me try to sit up.
And I think the best part of it all is how scared I am to be a mom. When I had Tanner, I guaranteed him happiness, safety, and all the blessings he deserved. And now with TWO babies coming..... there is a serious mood swing for ya. Justin is so amazing with kids and so kind and loving, he will be the best Father to these sweet babies. Then I look at myself, crying one minute, laughing the next and out of nowhere throwing a fit. All these hormones are killing me! I don't think I will be the worst mom, just worried what if I'm not good enough? No parent is perfect, and I think that may be my only saving grace :) I have read parenting book, after parenting book, read articles like crazy and the only thing I got out of it is no one has the perfect answer for bringing children into this world. And sadly that makes me feel a little bit better.
I have never prayed so much, then I have in the last 6 months. All I want are 20 fingers and toes, and healthy little babies. I just want them to come at a safe time and hopefully have some hair on their heads-Bentley especially! The rest of it, I accept graciously. I am excited to be up all night with a cranky baby (and maybe just for one night only) and for crazy diapers. I gave all those blessings to Vanessa, who deserves them just as much as anyone else! And now its all I crave.
Poor Justin has organized the nursery closet probably 100 times, allowed me to change my mind about what the nursery will look like, only laughed a little when I carry a diaper or blanket around with me like a possessive toddler. Getting me ice cream after I get blood drawn or some kind of shot-probably just to keep me quiet and content for just 5 minutes. Or better yet, almost in tears begging him to put the car seat bases in and just one of the car seats in so I can see that we get to bring babies home. poor guy, I love him to death and sweetheart only a few more weeks and hopefully these hormones will start to settle down :)
2013 I am excited to know what you bring, blessings and every challenge of parenthood. Bring it on, because as long as I pray and have Justin by my side, I'm confident that we will have happy and healthy kids.
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